Kids Traveling for the first time

I always thought that I could handle just about anything when it came to my kids. I have raised them all to be independent which in turn prepared me for them leaving the nest once they were old enough. I have 5 children. My oldest turned 18 and moved out of our house a few months later to live with his girlfriend who was pregnant with my first grand baby at the time. I was pretty proud of him, and of myself, that he moved out so quickly and was responsible for himself.

My 2nd oldest got a full time job at 15, her choice not mine, and stayed at that job even now. I do require that my kids get a job at 16, but they only have to work part time. She decided to work full time so she could have more money. At 19 she bought her own house and lives with her boyfriend, 2 dogs and 2 cats. Now again I can say I am proud of her, and myself again, for her being independent and responsible. Both of my oldest have had there obstacles to go through especially as teenagers, but they made it through and have become responsible adults, even though they will always be my babies.

My 3rd, and middle child, is a little bit different. Where my oldest 2 have always seemed ahead in their years she has kept a kind of child like quality. Now not to say that she isn't responsible, because she is. She got a job with her older sister at 16, and saved up almost everything she made. She is very responsible with money, almost stingy with it. This year she turned 18, but instead of planning on moving out like the other 2 she wanted to make a trip to London on her own. She didn't want to go with a tour or take anybody with her, but here's the biggest clincher. SHE HAS ANXIETY!

Now her anxiety isn't so bad that she can't leave the house, but it has prevented her from doing things on her own. Sometimes she can have panic attacks, especially in a crowded or stressful situation. On top of this she though she is responsible, like I said she is also quite child like in some ways, and she may be 18, but she only looks about 14. She is a little tiny thing. So imagine how I felt when she told me she wants to go to London right after she turns 18 alone. She was going to head over there by herself where I couldn't get to her if she needed me, not just because I get air sick, but also because I don't have a passport.

Now mind you I was fine with my 1st 2 kids growing up and leaving the nest, but they live right around me so if something goes wrong I can get to them quickly. Even if they lived across the country I could still get to them pretty quickly or my husband can. But going international is a whole other story. So I helped her plan her trip which I will talk about in the next blog, but let me tell you I was not prepared for how much anxiety it would cause me when she left. Let me tell you I was a ball of stress the whole week she was gone. I tried to make sure she would be as safe as I could make her, and even signed her up on an app so that I could keep track of her. Annnnd I did keep track of her a lot. She will never know how many times I actually checked on her with that app. I went from being the laid back mom who raised her kids to be independent, to a helicopter mom over night.

Do you know what the worst part is? THE PLANE! Why the plane you ask?-because I couldn't track her while her phone is on airplane mode. It is the worst feeling not being able to contact your kid when you're thinking she could be on the plane freaking out, or having a panic attack, or crying. It was awful! So how did I handle all this. Well for her it was all about planning and having an itinerary that she could follow. She kept saying she just wanted to go there and walk around, but I knew with her anxiety that she would never be able to make a decision of what she wanted to go look at, so we made and itinerary. Probably the best thing I did was have her picked up at the airport by a tour guide. They picked her up and then took her on a tour of the whole city. This way she got to see everything and get an idea about what the city was like. He also gave her some advice like take cabs, not Ubers. We also made sure she had a good app for getting cabs ordered easily. She also took a back up battery charger for her phone and headphones, and had the calm app downloaded on her phone so she could listen to it if she needed it.

She of course was in counseling for her anxiety, but we had never put her on any kinds of drugs. We wanted her to try to learn to cope with it on her own and then make the decision at 18 of whether or not she would need drugs. Since this was going to be a very anxiety filled trip for her we took her to the doctor to get her some meds that she could take on an as needed bases. But all of this did nothing to help me.

So what happen? Well I had trouble sleeping, constant worrying, and obsessively tracking her on the app, like I said a helicopter mom. She was having a lot of trouble the 1st night and FaceTimed me(by the way FaceTiming is free internationally) for about an hour. She cried a little, I cried a little, but I got her laughing by the end and with each day she was there she got a little better. She arrived on a Sunday, and by Thursday she said she had pretty much seen everything she wanted to see and was ready to come home. She wasn't leaving until Sunday. All I can say is I am so proud of how strong she was. She fought her anxiety and got to do something that she really wanted to do. She had some bumpy spots like with any vacation, but she made it through.

She thought she would go there and love it so much that she just might move there. In the end she found out that visiting London is great, but she doesn't like being that far away from her family. Just the fact that she did it by her self is a huge accomplishment, but add in the fact that she defeated her anxiety to do it is so awesome. If she can do that she can do just about anything!

In the next blog I'll talk about exactly what she did on her trip to London. I think I need a little time to recover myself before I talk about it. As alway if you need any help with your vacation planning just contact us. Till next time Come Journey with the Kellers!